Role-Playing

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Question:

Assalamualaykum

Is role-play during sex allowed with ones spouse to enhance intimate relationships? So you act out scenarios like nurse doctor and patient or student teacher or maid boss etc. but not anyone specific. Is this allowed?

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Foreplay during intimate relations is an important aspect of creating a healthy and loving bond between husband and wife. At the same time Islam has set in place certain safeguards to protect the sanctity of the marriage and to prevent either spouse from getting involved in anything that will be detrimental to their marriage and relationship.

Two distinct aspects come into play:

1.) Pretending that one’s spouse is a stranger.

2.) Pretending that one’s spouse has taken on the role of a specific character without assuming her to be a stranger.

1.) Pretending that one’s spouse is a stranger and has taken on the role of a character is impermissible and haram even if one is not fantasizing about someone specific. ^[i]

Ibn ‘Abidin al-Hanafi (Rahimahullah) said:

“The view that is closest to the spirit of our madhhab is that it is not permissible, because imagining that woman as if he is having intercourse with her is imagining oneself committing a sin with a woman who is not permissible for him.” (Hashiyat Radd al-Muhtar, 6/372)

Ibn al-Haj al-Maliki (Rahimahullah), said:

“A man should refrain from thinking such thoughts and tell others to avoid this behaviour too, i.e., this obnoxious characteristic that has unfortunately become very common, which is when a man sees a woman whom he likes, he goes to his wife and has intercourse with her, and starts to imagine that woman whom he has seen.

This is a kind of zina (adultery) because Scholars have mentioned that: “The one who takes a tankard and drinks water from it, but he imagines that it is alcohol, that (water) becomes Haram for him”.

2.) Associating a role with one’s wife without assuming her to be a stranger or someone unknown, while not entirely impermissible should still be strongly avoided due to the following:

a.) Participating in role-playing during intimate moments could potentially lead to a spouse fantasizing about their partner being someone else. This contradicts the essence of marriage, where the focus should be on valuing and desiring one’s lawful spouse. It is for this reason that Islamic teachings discourage such actions.

b.) By associating intimacy with a specific role such as a teacher or a nurse, the next time a person encounters a woman that practices this profession, his mind will be drawn towards that woman because of the previous association with role-playing.

Shariah has laid emphasis on the principle of blocking the means that may lead to Haram things and closing every door that may lead to evil. Thus, indulging in sexual fantasies could lead to inappropriate actions, aligning with the concept that repeated imagination can lead to motivation and intent. It is therefore strongly discouraged.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

[Mufti] Safwaan Ibrahim

Darul Iftaa
Limbe, Malawi

___________________________

الدر المختار وحاشية ابن عابدين (رد المحتار) (6/ 372) – دار الفكر-بيروت

الثَّالِثُ: ذَكَرَ بَعْضُ الشَّافِعِيَّةِ أَنَّهُ كَمَا يَحْرُمُ النَّظَرُ لِمَا لَا يَحِلُّ يَحْرُمُ التَّفَكُّرُ فِيهِ لِقَوْلِهِ تَعَالَى – {وَلا تَتَمَنَّوْا مَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بِهِ بَعْضَكُمْ عَلَى بَعْضٍ} [النساء: 32]- فَمَنَعَ مِنْ التَّمَنِّي كَمَا مَنَعَ مِنْ النَّظَرِ، وَذَكَرَ الْعَلَّامَةُ ابْنُ حَجَرٍ فِي التُّحْفَةِ أَنَّهُ لَيْسَ مِنْهُ مَا لَوْ وَطِئَ حَلِيلَتَهُ مُتَفَكِّرًا فِي مَحَاسِنِ أَجْنَبِيَّةٍ حَتَّى خُيِّلَ إلَيْهِ أَنَّهُ يَطَؤُهَا، وَنَقَلَ عَنْ جَمَاعَةٍ مِنْهُمْ الْجَلَالُ السُّيُوطِيّ وَالتَّقِيُّ السُّبْكِيُّ أَنَّهُ يَحِلُّ لِحَدِيثِ «إنَّ اللَّهَ تَجَاوَزَ لِأُمَّتِي مَا حَدَّثَتْ بِهِ أَنْفُسَهَا» وَلَا يَلْزَمُ مِنْ تَخَيُّلِهِ ذَلِكَ عَزْمُهُ عَلَى الزِّنَا بِهَا، حَتَّى يَأْثَمَ إذَا صَمَّمَ عَلَى ذَلِكَ لَوْ ظَفِرَ بِهَا، وَإِنَّمَا اللَّازِمُ فَرْضُ مَوْطُوءَتِهِ تِلْكَ الْحَسْنَاءَ، وَقِيلَ يَنْبَغِي كَرَاهَةُ ذَلِكَ وَرُدَّ بِأَنَّ الْكَرَاهَةَ لَا بُدَّ لَهَا مِنْ دَلِيلٍ وَقَالَ ابْنُ الْحَاجِّ الْمَالِكِيِّ: إنَّهُ يَحْرُمُ لِأَنَّهُ نَوْعٌ مِنْ الزِّنَا كَمَا قَالَ عُلَمَاؤُنَا فِيمَنْ أَخَذَ كُوزًا يَشْرَبُ مِنْهُ، فَتَصَوَّرَ بَيْنَ عَيْنَيْهِ أَنَّهُ خَمْرٌ فَشَرِبَهُ أَنَّ ذَلِكَ الْمَاءَ يَصِيرُ حَرَامًا عَلَيْهِ اهـ وَرُدَّ بِأَنَّهُ فِي غَايَةِ الْبَعْدِ وَلَا دَلِيلَ عَلَيْهِ اهـ مُلَخَّصًا وَلَمْ أَرَ مَنْ تَعَرَّضَ لِلْمَسْأَلَةِ عِنْدَنَا وَإِنَّمَا قَالَ فِي الدُّرَرِ: إذَا شَرِبَ الْمَاءَ وَغَيْرَهُ مِنْ الْمُبَاحَاتِ بِلَهْوٍ وَطَرَبٍ عَلَى هَيْئَةِ الْفَسَقَةِ حَرُمَ اهـ وَالْأَقْرَبُ لِقَوَاعِد مَذْهَبِنَا عَدَمُ الْحِلِّ، لِأَنَّ تَصَوُّرَ تِلْكَ الْأَجْنَبِيَّةِ بَيْنَ يَدَيْهِ يَطَؤُهَا فِيهِ تَصْوِيرُ مُبَاشَرَةِ الْمَعْصِيَةِ عَلَى هَيْئَتِهَا، فَهُوَ نَظِيرُ مَسْأَلَةِ الشُّرْبِ ثُمَّ رَأَيْت صَاحِبَ تَبْيِينِ الْمَحَارِمِ مِنْ عُلَمَائِنَا نَقَلَ عِبَارَةَ ابْنِ الْحَاجِّ الْمَالِكِيِّ، وَأَقَرَّهَا وَفِي آخِرِهَا حَدِيثٌ عَنْهُ – صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ – «إذَا شَرِبَ الْعَبْدُ الْمَاءَ عَلَى شَبَهِ الْمُسْكِرِ كَانَ ذَلِكَ عَلَيْهِ حَرَامًا» اهـ.

Askimam: 23581